16 Nov 2016

Hospital. Who likes them? I do not. My first thoughts always go in sick direction. There is obviously great benefit of giving birth in hospital as if you have any risk there will be always an army of doctors and midwives to help you and your child. But! If you are healthy women and the little is fine why someone is trying to lie you down in bed and treat you like sick. No it is not a huge tumor or sore appendix in your tummy! It is a new screaming life. And I think it is sometimes forgotten so much!
Researches show that c-section rates recently increased and they are between 19-38% of total deliveries in different maternity units in Ireland. If there is a need for that, go for it, well run for it! That is the only chance for you and thanks God for that. But what about those electives sections, planned and scheduled to every second? Is there so many women too posh to push?
I am huge fan of home deliveries. Not extreme free births, as it is good to have with you someone experienced just in case and for your peace of mind. I did not have many options which could speed up naturally my labor and I was almost chained to delivery bed. But I had in my mind huge believe "I can do it" and I was brave enough to ask for being next to bed on a ball. And I am happy with all what happened. Never felt guilty I could not tick all boxes in my birth plan. So do not yourself!
After late night delivery I just wanted to go home as soon as possible. I was down in ward about 4am, taken down on wheelchair, climbed to bed, trying to fall asleep with my baby in the glass cot. And even I had so many things too feel like home, I could not. I was in hospital. And she was crying so loudly. And I felt guilty, because the rest of women probably could not sleep! There was, including me, 5 of us. But next day 2 were gone home and nobody new came. I was experiencing every second of being a new mum and new woman inside myself, so I did not really want to talk with anyone. I just smiled to them and that was enough for me. For most of the time we did not see each other as we were separated by curtains. My baby was stubborn and very sleepy. But on the other hand hungry and in need to be just next to the only person she have known, her mummy. I decided to breast feed, which I did attempted in delivery suite. But it was such a new experience and suddenly nothing worked. All positions which I saw on antenatal classes and breastfeeding workshops were just hopeless. And I felt hopeless. Especially just after delivery, when I did not know that my baby did not need to eat much. Even one suck should be considered as a success. But that was the only moment when I met totally unpleasant person in a hospital. That was a midwife who was not present during my labor nor delivery and honestly even today I have no idea where she came from. She pulled my breast, stuck in baby's mouth and said: "that's how you should do it". Then she screamed at my husband who did skin to skin contact with the baby: "she's cold, that's why she's crying". I did not catch her name neither remember her face, but if only I would made huge complain. Lucky her!
My bed was comfy even it was much older then that in delivery suite. I have enough space for my stuff. I was surprised by quality of food. Portions were big enough and there was always a choice of two dishes and there was even a dessert! That is such a different comparing to Polish hospitals. My husband could be with us for most time during a day. There was few breaks for meals and resting. I felt like a wreckage physically, just sore, with kind of pain which I never felt. And next to me I had the most beautiful creature in whole world. So I could do anything and cross every hurting edge and border. So my main activities during hospital stay was crying over her beauty, eating donuts and trying to feed. It was hard. I had plenty of colostrum. When she just sucked, which was already a challenge, she felt asleep. And again, again, again.. Then we were found by a great midwife. Young girl, who showed us position which I had never seen. And it worked! She ate, had wet nappies and I could not believe. After 12 hours we were ready to go home. But I decided... to stay one night more. I was just afraid something would go wrong and I would panic. I actually wanted also my husband would  have proper sleep, before we would be together. And feeding were going great. Next day we were discharged and we went home. I mean walking. First time with buggy. And I would not change that for a ride of any car. Even it took for me a while and we did about 300 or 400 meters that was another point, which I could be proud of. Our new life was just about to start, our new little flatmate was just about to move in. I will not surprise you, that was the most exciting change of our life.

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